“If we put that block here, we can make it even bigger!” “So big, right? It’ll be so big that I can’t reach the top!” “I’ll help you!”
Friendships are one of the most wonderful things about being at school. Spending lots of time with close friends and people you easily connect with. We are proud to foster those kinds of relationships and work at ways to help children connect, keep close relationships close when they get hard, and provide a safe and stimulating environment for those relationships to become even closer. But meeting, working, and playing with people who we do not automatically feel a closeness to is just as important. This is a valuable tool in school and work, and it also is important to living out Christ’s message. Lately we have been focusing on this skill and the results have been beautiful. Little things, like encouraging people to sit next to someone new on the nest, or mixing up the partners when we walk to park, or assigning a work partner for the day help children explore relationships outside their comfort zone and their established relationships for a bit, and new friendships are forming!
This can also be frustrating! When the teacher tells you to sit in a different spot, find a new partner, or to work with someone you don’t know very well, that can be scary! What we are finding is that those who are worried or resistant at first, soon lose themselves in work and play with the other person, and rise beautifully to the challenge of spending time with someone new. The shared joy and pride of two children who had had reservations about working with each other as they produce their work or project, as they watch a building rise, or count higher and higher has been exploding in the Trees and Sky classes, and the number of people that a child might consider a stranger, a worry, or a mystery is shrinking.
Perhaps you have heard your child talking about working with someone new, or missing being with someone they would rather be with. You could respond that it sounds like they are working hard at “sharing themselves,” and say that this is a hard thing to do! Congratulate them on trying, and talk about what is hard and what is easy. You might ask them what new friend they spent time with and what s/he did with that person, and also what they did with a long-time-friend that day.
Over the course of a day or week, the amount of time that a child spends with close friends diminishes by only a little bit, while the new relationships they are forming from that one work period or park time build the tools to be flexible and patient, to forgive and ask questions, to be brave and try new things, and ultimately to see that each one of God’s children is truly a brother or sister.
Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym
sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥadh
It is good for brothers and sisters
to live and work together in unity
